the chaos and the healing

“Feeling inspired tears us up and makes us realize how vast and wonderful our world is, and feeling wretched humbles us. When we feel wretched it softens us up, it ripens our hearts and it becomes the ground for understanding others” - Pema Chodron

As Author Richard Rohr wrote in his book Falling Upward, ”life is both loss and renewal, death and resurrection, chaos and healing at the same time; life seems to be a collision of the opposites.”

I feel as humans we resist this truth - feeling that happiness and joy should never be aligned with something that is painful or a process of pain in order to arrive at the other shore - how can this be reconciled? How can they live in the same space?

I recently had a heartfelt talk with my young child. As a child of separated parents, she offered me such kindness on a topic that felt chaotic to me and certainly not something I expected her to comprehend. Without knowing the details of a complicated adult situation, she was able to tell
me something so kind amidst all the chaos, that there was an immediate sense of renewal, so in this state of single mother guilt, there was healing that came and therefore hope.

I am certain we have all felt this in our lives. The oddly familiar feeling of experiencing joy while in the midst of something painful. We wrestle with this, often seeing it as an indulgence - why should I be able to find the positive in such a situation that only holds negativity? Trying to live in that state of despair, holding onto it, or rather allowing the ego to hold onto it.

Yet if we did not find the healing inside of the chaos, and just acknowledge the present state, whatever that is, how would we ever find the sheer will to go on? The chaos and negativity would consume us entirely, cut out all will to overcome the chaotic situation and perhaps, even our will to live. It is within these two states that we most likely reside most of the time, at varying degrees, throughout days, years, and lifetimes.

Perhaps surrender is a crucial word here; by surrendering we do our very best and then turn over the outcome, and are able to be present, and in the moment, this is the healing I believe Rohr is speaking of...just admit the chaos, let it in... and sit with it.

For my friend who is feeling all of it, and is so brave- SV